I didn’t watch it
I never do
I can feel the blood
I can feel the heart
The fall off
Through the system
The bang bang bang bang bang bang bang
Pixelated stranger on your laptop screen
Also a stranger to me
Yet by some chance in biology
I am consumed by empathy
By some choice in my biology.
What of the pain?
History hasn’t changed.
They used to gather to watch them lynches.
Now they can watch it from behind a screen.
Do you enjoy talking about it?
It is just some provocative fun?
A debate for now and then and then and now
And abandoned like that time you were really into Hip Hop?
I wake up and it burdens my heart.
I go to sleep and it darkens my dreams.
Somewhere a stranger was shot,
People watched it on their screens.
I could not. It would hurt too much.
Another, another, another. Child, man, woman.
It feels like we’ve been killed off
killing ourselves off
and life is unbearably overwhelmingly too much for us.
When we get a grip.
They don’t see the strain in our shoulders
The tears in our eyes
The stabs in the heart
As we explain
Again again again again.
When they see it
Do they feel it?
When they hear you?
Do they see you?
When you die
Do they mourn you?